FAMILY VACATION RECAP/FAVORITES

I heard this funny quote once…

“THERE IS REALLY NO VACATION IN “FAMILY VACATION”, LETS JUST CALL THEM A FAMILY TRIP.”

I am very fanatical about the importance of family vacations.  Family vacations need not be far away, extravagant  or expensive but they must happen.  I feel there must be a vacation once a year that is just your immediate family-no relatives or friends allowed (grandma’s and grandpa’s are OK once in a while).  This allows your family to really have an opportunity to focus on each other with no other relationships  competing for time or attention.  Family vacations are sacred to me.  They are a most  precious time together.   They provide opportunities not available in our daily routines.  Each family member is “forced” to spend time together, experience things together and create lasting memories which bond them together and strengthen their relationships. 

Usually as soon as our yearly family vacation is over I start planning the next one.  It takes months to plan a GREAT vacation and months to save $ for one.  I always start with creating a budget and have learned that you will have heavenly help keeping within your budget if you ask for it.  

One of the best parts of our family vacations is the first Family Night after we have returned.  We call it the TRIP RE-CAP.  We watch all the pictures of our trip on the computer or T.V. then we do an activity entitled “Our Favorites.”     Each family member is given a handout and writes their name on it then they list all their favorites of the trip.  Here are two examples.  (the handout varies each trip depending on the activities we did)

ALASKA CRUISE TRIP FAVORITES-May 31-June 7, 2014

Favorite city ______________________________________

Favorite onboard activity ________________________________________________________

Favorite animal encounter __________________________________________________________

Favorite meal on ship ___________________________________

Favorite meal off ship _________________________________________________

Favorite thing about the cruise ship _____________________________________________________________

Funniest moment _________________________________________________________________

Favorite excursion __________________________________________________

Favorite food item on ship ______________________________________

Most memorable moment _____________________________________________________________________

Worst thing about the trip _______________________________________________________

Best thing you learned ________________________________________________________________

What you will remember most about this trip _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

FAVORITES ABOUT OUR FAMILY CHURCH HISTORY TRIP 2009

Kirtland/ Niagra Area

Favorite site:

Something I learned that strengthened my testimony:

Best thing about this area:

Best meal:

Worst thing about this area:

Palmyra/Fayette/Harmony

Favorite site:

Something I learned that strengthened my testimony:

Best Meal:

Worst thing about this area:

Sandusky/Cedar Point

Favorite roller coaster:

Worst thing about this park:

Best thing about this park:

Nauvoo

Favorite Site:

Something I learned that strengthened my testimony:

Best thing about this area:

Favorite  Meal:

Worst Meal:

Worst thing about this area:

Whole Trip

Favorite Hotel:

Favorite place overall:

Best Meal overall:

Best activity overall:

Funniest thing that happened:

Best thing about being on this trip:

What you will best remember about this trip:

Share your feelings about our pioneer ancestors and Joseph Smith and how most of all your testimony was strengthened of them. 

 

Then we go around and each person reads their answers.  It is a great laugh and brings back all the memories and fun we just had.  These pages are then added to the trip scrapbook containing all the pictures of that particular trip.  It is looked at often and each time it is brought out those memories come flooding back and our bonds are strengthened by precious memories.    It is also an awesome way to journal the experience. 

 

This trip re-cap is also a wonderful insight into the things that your children really enjoy.  It’s so fun to learn that usually they all have a different favorite and that each one of them learn different things on the trip (I try to make sure that each trip is filled with learning activities) .    It gives each child an opportunity to feel valued as they share their opinion and we all listen.  Doing this activity also gets the kids more invested in the trip as they are thinking right from the beginning what activities or moments will be on the “trip re-cap favorites” page.  

I also always do a GOOD ATTITUDE CONTEST .   I keep a notebook with me constantly (everyone else will surely just use their cell phone) and we start from the very beginning of the trip and I give each child, myself and husband, points for displays of good attitudes, positive comments, extra helpfulness, kind and patient words and compromise.    Family vacations must be full of all these things to be a positive experience and there really is no better opportunity to put these great life skills into practice-with the people who we are supposed to love and cherish the most.  At the end of each vacation day I total up the points and whoever is in the lead gets to pick our restaurant for dinner, get an extra icecream scoop, get a candy bar at the gas station or some other small reward.  It works like magic and makes a big difference.  When we are hiking “too far” I remind them of the points and attitudes change quickly, when someone wants a certain bed in the hotel that another one wants I remind them of the points and compromise is quickly reached.  No one can contest the points given but each family member can recommend that points be given to a certain someone. 

 After several of our vacations I have also done PAPER PLATE AWARDS and these are presented at the Family Night Trip Re-cap.  I think of a title that each child has earned while on the trip and write it on a paper plate and accompany it with their favorite candy bar.  They  get so excited about this simple award and sometimes I let my older kids make them and they loved that opportunity. 

 All of these ideas are ways to strengthen family bonds which I feel should be one of our highest priorities.  Whenever I fill out my favorites page and answer the last question, “What was your favorite thing about this trip?”, my answer is ALWAYS, “That I got to spend 7 days with my favorite people in the world and eat every meal with them and have no interruptions or distractions from the world.  It is a little bit of heaven!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT CHILDREN THINK OF THEIR MOTHERS

What Children Think of their Mothers

I have been teaching preschool for 23 years.  Almost every Mother’s Day I have the preschoolers make their mother a special card for Mother’s Day.  This is a fill in the blank card.  It has 8 open ended questions that they respond to.  I take each child out separately to answer these questions so they are not influenced by answers given by the other children.  The questions are:

1)      My mom loves to…

2)      My mom is really good at…

3)      I love it when my mom makes me…

4)      My mom is ___________ years old

5)      My mom looks most beautiful when…

6)      My mom taught me to…

7)      If I could get my mom any present in the world, I would get her a ….

8)      My favorite thing to do with my mom is….

I love to write down their responses just as they say them.  It is a very hilarious activity but mostly a very telling one.  I have learned much about what children THINK their mothers love and what they think of their mothers. 

When beginning with the first question, I say,  “what does your mom love to do?”  Usually they will think about that for a minute and I will say, “what is your mom’s favorite thing to do, what does she just love?”  I always feel sad when some of them have answered, “talk on her phone,” or “be on the computer.”  Not that these things are bad, but that her children define her favorite thing or thing she really loves with something that isolates her from them,  distracts her or focuses her attention outside of the present moment.  Now, I don’t think mothers should be focused on their children 100% of the time and never do anything that is not for them, but I do think that children thinking their mother loves her phone or computer more than she loves anything else is not the message we want to or should send to our children-that won’t look that impressive on an obituary. 

More common answers to this question are:  “make food, play with me, laugh,  cook, go on trips, clean, do laundry, do the dishes, watch kids, go to church, kiss my dad, play games, hug me, and sing.” 

I love these answers because if you’re a mother of a child who thinks you LOVE to do dishes and laundry, clean, watch kids, play with them and laugh, you are doing something right.  Your attitude about motherhood is positive.  Although being a mother is the hardest job in the world you exhibit the joy in it.   You are happy and content with the amazing role of motherhood.   This is important for your child’s emotional attachment and well being.     

Now this is not to say that when one child answered this first question with, “ lay down on the couch and do nothing all day,” I believe everything I hear and judge!  I don’t.

The answers to question #2, “WHAT IS YOUR MOM REALLY GOOD AT”, are quite joyful to me well.  Sometimes I would have to expound the question with, “what are your mommy’s best talents?”  Their answers include: “working, cooking, baking, writing her name and teaching my brothers to be nice, showing us videos, practicing karate, making dinner, doing the dishes, making Indian food, knitting, sewing, singing, playing games, and babysitting.   The most hysterical answer was, “my mom never did talents.”

Some people may think that a woman loses her SELF in motherhood but clearly from a child’s perspective, a mother is a hero, one who can do anything and whose daily mundane jobs become talents in the eyes of her family.

 

Question #3, “I love it when my mom makes…” provides great insight into the importance children place on having good food and food that makes them feel happy and loved.  The top answer over the years has most definitely been “cookies”.  Cookies give children a sense of contentment, peace and joy.  They mean a lot to these little people who are learning that home is a place that smells and feels good, is warm, safe and secure.  Again it aids in their emotional attachment and sense of belonging to a family that lives in a special place.  Smells bring emotion and fresh baked cookies or bread bring happy emotions.  That smell can ward off the world and home is a place to drop off all the stress and worry of the day.   Teens also need and appreciate such things. 

Other answers include:  “corn bread, cake, beef stroganoff, spaghetti, cinnamon rolls, pancakes and waffles, Hashwee (a Lebanese food), sandwiches, noodles, a lunchable (that does take some effort), peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,” and a totally unrelated food answer, “a present for me.”

 

Question #4, “My mom is ________ years old,”  proves that children have NO concept of age.  They know how old they are and how old their brothers and sisters are but they do not comprehend that grownups generally have to be t least 20 years older than them.  The children answered this with ages from “ 11, 45, 16 to 118!”  Some of us started birthing awfully early or very late!!

So when you are frustrated that another birthday is coming for you or you are not looking quite like you did in your late teens, early twenties- take heart, kids don’t care.  It’s grownups that compare themselves to each other and worry about aging.  Age means nothing to children.  We should all worry about it less and follow their example.

 

Question #5, “My mom looks most beautiful when…” is the fastest answered question of all of them.  All other questions cause the children to ponder for a bit and sometimes I have to reword or expound the question to help them think of an answer but this one is always answered immediately.   It’s also very telling about how observant children are and that they do notice when we make an effort to look nice, wear make-up and dress up.  I think this is interesting because there are many things that can go completely unnoticed by children but this is something that is meaningful to them.   

The children always give these answers:  “when she’s in her wedding dress, when she goes to church, when she puts that black stuff on her eyes, when she puts that purple make-up on her eyes, when she wears her polka dot dress,  when she does her hair curly, when she goes to work, when she puts pretty earrings on and I like her dresses, when Randy (her hair dresser) does her hair, when she puts on lipstick, when she wears  her beautiful jewelry and when she wears a beautiful dress to a meeting.”

These answers teach us that we should continue or increase our efforts to keep our appearance nice and that  just because we are maybe a stay at home mom, our children and husbands do notice if we take the time to put on make-up and look nice.  It seems very important also to keep pictures of our wedding day hanging in a prominent place in our home so that our children can see that that was a special day where we gave great  effort to look our best .  It’s our princess moment.  We always want our children to think of us, at least for one second, when they are asked about the prettiest princess they know-right?  Also we teach our children that church is a special activity when we dress up and we want to look our best as we worship the Lord.  We are teaching them respect for things that should have respect when we dress nicely for important things. 

 

Question #6, “My mom has taught me…” gives important insight into the work mother’s do each day- that of being a teacher and nurturer.    The children said their mothers have taught them to… “do talents, do the ABC’s, read, swim like a duck, be nice, pump on the swings, garden, write, spell my name,  ride a two wheeler, tie my shoe, and sing a song.”    Once again I do not judge with answers such as this, “she hasn’t taught me anything, and nothing.’  Don’t lose heart, I’m sure it’s just because they didn’t understand the question! 

Imagine a world where mother’s didn’t teach their children the simple lesson of being nice or swimming like a duck.  Mother’s influence is crucial to society.

This whole question card proves that mothers are teaching things everyday intentionally and unintentionally-attitudes, respect for others and self, doing your best etc. etc. 

 

When I give Question #7, “If you could get your mom any present in the world what would you get her?”  I expound with the fact that they would have a whole bunch of money and could go to any store.  Their answers also prove that children do NOT care about money or comprehend the price of anything.  They do not see the value in expensive things. The cost does not make an item more special. Over the years I have never had a child say “a car, a house or a boat.”  Their answers are: “a wallet, new shoes and tall ones, gum, some flowers, new earrings, new braclet and necklace but I’d have to go to two stores, a pretty sparkly dress, an apron, chocolate, a book, a big cookie machine, flowers, a smoothie maker, and a lovely Elsa dress.”  Thank heaven’s for Frozen, it helps in so many ways!

This can give us all a lesson about how it is again comparing ourselves to other grown-ups that we start to feel inferior about our incomes or all the “stuff” we have or don’t have.  Children don’t want stressed out parents because they have overextended their budget trying to “keep up with the Jones.”  If we do that we cannot say, “it’s all for our children, we want them to be happy.”  They are happy with flowers!

 

The answers to the last question, “What is your favorite thing to do with your mom,” give us the most important information we need about how to raise our children.  All they want from us is our time.  That is how they feel love.  They don’t want expensive things, they don’t care about living in a big house or having fancy cars and they don’t care how old we are.  They are simple and want their lives to be simple.  They want us to simply BE THERE and give them our attention.    Their answers are: “ play Uno that’s a really hard game, crack eggs open, go to Boondocks, play with her,  make food with her, play marbles, pick up snails in the garden, play with her and my sister, play legos, bake cookies,  play games, go on a picnic, read a book, and make dinner. “

 

Just remember your children think you are the best.  You are perfect in their eyes.  You are their hero and their happiness.  Don’t be too hard on yourself about all the things you think you are not doing right or good enough- let their opinion matter most and to them you are everything!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY-YOU TRULY HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PROM WILL HAVE TO WAIT

Trying to follow the guidelines in the For the Strength of Youth, "Do not date until you are at least 16 years old," created an opportunity when my daughter got asked to the high school Prom a few weeks ago and she was still 15, and we had to come up with a good way to answer the boy who asked her.

We bought this cake and put 15 candles in it and she made this cute sign.  She took it to his house and delivered it to his door step.  Hopefully he knew that she'd love to be asked again next year. 

     I was proud of her as it can be difficult when all your friends are going to their first Prom and you so want to be included in that exciting time.  As we discussed this experience and some comments from some girls at school regarding the 16 year old dating counsel such as, "that doesn't matter anymore," and my senior son said, "oh mom no one follows that anymore," my 11 year old said, 'Well Elly you'll get all the blessings!"  I was so thankful that he recognizes that obedience brings blessings.  I'm thankful that Elly recognizes that following a prophet is not optional!

Window Well of WONDER

In my basement I got very tired of looking at this ...

 

So I decided to do this..

It is much more exciting and children love it. 

 

To make one of your own-

-First you MUST get all spider webs, spiders and any living creature out of the window well!

-Measure your window well.  Purchase some sea themed fabric that will fit the space. Cut pieces the size you need to cover your window.

-Purchase some greenery that looks like it would be in the ocean, some plastic light weight fish, sea creatures such as starfish or sea shells, at least 3 bags of acquarium rocks and fishing line (for hanging the fish),  blue

-Spray glue adhesive to one area and apply the material to that section. Repeat until all the metal grate has been covered.

-Dump aquarium rocks in bottom of window well (use enough to cover the dirt well and be about 2" deep.)

-Add a large boulder or two also and then add greenery.  Hot glue is definitely your best friend in this project.  Some fish can be glued to wall with hot glue or to some of the plants.

-Using the glue gun attach the blue cellophane across the top of the window well.  (I have window well covers but if you don't have them this step isn't necessary.)

-Poke a small hole in top of each fish and stick a piece of fishing line in it with hot glue leaving varying lengths so fish hang at all different levels.  

-Poke a small hole in the blue cellophane for the fishing line to be threaded through.  Thread the line through the hole then hot glue the line to the top of the window well cover. Allow for the cover to close and for your line to be the right length when closed.

-I also added a cut out of a shark which I got from a poster we were going to throw away.

 

It makes the basement feel like a trip to the aquarium!  I have always thought it would be fun to try a different theme in one of the other windows, like reptiles or African Safari etc.

 

 

 

 

 

"Why we love you on your birthday"

We do this for each persons birthday in our family... 
During dinner we go around and each family member tells why and what they love most about the birthday boy/girl/mom or dad.  It is a tender, bonding experience to hear each person in the family share specifics about the special birthday person and is something everyone looks forward to on their special day.  I highly recommend giving it a try in your family.

FORGIVENESS ROCK-another humiliating and hilarious story

A few years ago I was serving in the Primary and I was in charge of presenting sharing time.  The theme I was to address was about forgiveness so I planned to use to the story about the man who puts a rock in his pocket every time someone does something mean to him or makes him mad.  He carries those rocks around so he can remember all the reasons to be angry with people.  The rocks have a negative effect on him and begin to weigh him down and fill his house just like when we don’t forgive others. 

I decided I would use a backpack and fill it with rocks so that the kids could see how heavy being unforgiving gets.  While at Bear Lake I collected boulders of all sizes and wrote on them with permanent marker things that would be hard to forgive for children and adults.   I put such things as; “friend broke my favorite toy,” “friend said something mean about me to other people”, “had an argument with spouse”, “friend pushed me and made me fall and scrape my knee”, “teenager told me a lie about how the car got damaged”, “church leaders offended me with their counsel” etc. etc. 

I had one child put the backpack on and called up other children one at a time to pick a rock and read it and then put it in the backpack.  The child holding the backpack quickly got weighed down with the heaviness of the rocks.  By the time all the rocks were in there he couldn’t walk at all and the backpack looked like it wouldn’t hold.  Anyway it was a very effective forgiveness sharing time and went well for all ages. 

Well that is only a small part of this story.  Many weeks later we were headed to our favorite town parade with my parents, sisters and their families.  I needed to save our spot on the street with a blanket and it was pretty breezy so I grabbed some of those boulders to set in the corners of the blanket.  The parade was delightful and when it was over I asked my kids to make sure we got all our belongings and the rocks.  They assured me we had and we headed to our car. 

The next day I got a phone call from my brother in law telling me that one of my rocks had been left behind and caused a stake president and his first counselor a sleepless night!  Panic filled my heart as I listened to him recount the happenings of his early morning meeting with the stake presidency. 

As the high council began their meeting,  the stake president set a large rock on the table with writing on it that said, “my church leaders offended me with their counsel.”  He said, “Brethren we have offended someone and we have to get to the bottom of this.”  He recounted finding  the rock in his yard the previous evening, reading it and quickly taking it over to his counselor’s house to show it to him.   He worried that someone had tried to throw it at his house.  The two of them spent most of the night trying to figure out what member of their stake it could have been.  One of them even made a list of possibilities and went through it name by name trying to remember exact conversations and interactions. 

As soon as my brother-in-law saw the rock he knew where it had come from and quickly let him know that is was a very big misunderstanding and I was the owner of the rock.

He took a picture of the stake president holding the rock and sent it to me.  By then apparently the story was funny but it took weeks for it to be funny to me.  I felt so horrible.  I made brownies and wrote a note of apology and delivered them that evening with the intention to leave them on the doorstep and RUN!  Just as I laid them on the porch the stake president opened the door.  Oh the humiliation!

The incident was handled with such kindness and humor and I was so thankful for the forgiveness I received for leaving the “forgiveness rock” in his yard!

 

 

Olympic Party

One of the most exciting things to celebrate as a family is the Olympics and since they don't come around all too often it's a fun reason to have a great party!

These ideas can be used for a birthday party or family party. 

                  TORCH   CAKE-To make the torch cut out a flame from construction paper. Cut a short plastic cup in half lengthwise and attach the flame to a plastic cup.  Put the cup towards the top of the cake.  Use tinfoil to create a handle. 

We had our own family Olympics.  Each person picked their country (no one could be from the USA) and then each person had to locate that country on a map and learn one cool thing about that country and share it with the family.  Each person then made them a sign with the country name and colors that we taped to our shirts. We did events such as  bobsledding by putting a small, single sized air mattress on the top of the stairs and then riding it down the stairs and whoever went the farthest won.  We had ice skating by clearing off our wood floor and each person taking turns doing their routine with stocking feet.  We did ice hockey by using brooms as hockey sticks and then used a stuffed animal for a puck.  We did curling by putting a circle on the wood floor with colored tape and another line of colored tape about 15 feet from the circle.  We would stand on that line and then push a Frisbee in curling style to see who could get it closest to the circle. 

 

We also made Olympic ring jello for our dinner.  I tried to make one for each color of the rings.  The black is a little hard but I did really dark purple. 

We had a medal ceremony with medals I purchased from Oriental Trading or they have some at Zurchers' party store.  It was definitely one of our best family nights ever.